The Lotus Thought
by Revolutionary Venom
Summary: Takes place during "A Brother's Job." Grin reflects on a few things, but finds he needs help
1. Meeting the Lotus

HAI GAIZ. Well, I realized that I haven't been trying that hard with the other ducks of the team (and I think Nosedive, Wildwing, and Duke need a break from torture xD). So this is a Grin-centric story that started out as a one-shot, but my brain's a bit on the fritz. So here's the first chapter =3

P.S. Since I'm including a lot of Buddhist/Zen ideals and beliefs, please bear with me. I'm still learning

P.S.S. There IS an OC in this story, but this is probably the only time we'll ever see him. I based him off a guy in my English class who's an ex-Marine who specialized in foreign languages. Coincidentally, he's also Buddhist

Disclaimer: I don't own MD:TAS. If I did, I'd be rich

* * *

For once, Grin couldn't meditate.

The larger drake had come out to Anaheim Park to do some meditation with nature. Usually, he could easily do so within the Pond somewhere. But since the incident with Siege that ended up with the team's youngest member nearly sacrificing his own life almost two days ago, the Zen-oriented duck found it hard to find his inner tranquility.

And placing an emotionally and physically exhausted Wildwing in the bed next to Nosedive hadn't exactly helped. Their young friend had had an 'electrolyte imbalance' - as he remembered Tanya calling it - that had made the youngest teammate's heart rhythm irregular. It had scared the feathers off Wildwing and hadn't exactly helped the rest of the team either.

So after helping Tanya get their leader situated, Grin hadn't known what to do - so he had stood next to the Infirmary doors with Duke until he felt he couldn't look upon the scene anymore. And since he felt the 'dark clouds' hanging over the Pond, he decided to take his spiritual quest elsewhere.

But it hadn't helped.

And now it was starting to get late. It had been close to seven when the larger drake had come out to the park, but now it was almost nine and on the verge of a complete, dark night.

So, deciding it was best not to linger in the park, Grin stood from his spot and began to walk away. A lot was on his mind, especially since they had almost lost their young friend earlier in the afternoon-

"What's troubling you friend?"

Grin stopped in his tracks, looking around him to find the source of the voice he had just heard. And he saw the strangest human he had ever seen (as of normal humans anyway. But then again, what on this planet was normal?)

The man appearing to be in his 30's was sitting under one of the largest trees in Anaheim park, a Western Blue Elderberry. He had darker skin than most of the people Grin had seen in Anaheim, black hair, dark eyes, and glasses. Dressed simply in airy-like clothes, he sat there cross-legged, looking at Grin.

Grin turned to face the human. "You cannot describe it or draw it. You cannot praise it enough or perceive it-"

"-No place can be found in which to put the Original Face; it will not disappear even when the universe is destroyed."

The larger drake looked shocked. The man laughed a little at the other's expression. "Seems we both know the quote," he said. "Come, sit with me. Perhaps I can help you."

Cautiously, Grin made his way over and sat in front of the human. "My name is Raza," the other said. "You're one of the famous hockey players of our state, yes?"

"Are you a hockey fan?" Grin simply asked.

"Myself? Not really," Raza answered. "But I do keep up with sports, and since hockey is the biggest thing to hit Anaheim since 'aliens' became the team, hockey has become much more interesting to hear about."

The larger drake chuckled.

"I've heard of the different members, but I have to apologize and say I don't know any of your names," Raza told him. "Might I ask yours?"

"Grin," the larger simply said, touching his closed fists together and bowing slightly.

"So Grin, you're looking troubled," Raza said. "Your aura is not as it should be and you carry a burden. A golden aura is not one that is easily shaken."

Grin sighed. "This is something that a human may not be able to help with," he answered.

"This is why those who seek will find, as was once said by Lao Tzu," Raza retorted. "Part of a famous quote from a famous philosopher in China."

When Grin didn't answer, Raza sighed and stood from his seat. "I will not make you share, friend. But I suggest that you find some outlet before you are torn apart."

He began to walk away-

"One of my teammates was injured."

Raza turned around. Grin was staring at the ground, a forlorn look on his face. "I thought this was the off-season, yes?" Raza asked.

"It's…not easy to talk about outside what few humans we do know," Grin answered, the other going back to his seat.

"Then how about this," the other said, smiling. "Have you had dinner yet? I was about to go eat when I saw you walking by. Though I myself have not much money on me, I think I can buy us some dinner."

Grin thought for a moment. Then, an idea popped into his head.

_**RVRVRVRVRVRVRV**_

"Welcome to - oh hey Grin! Need some more food?"

Grin looked at Weiner World's cashier oddly. "More?"

"Mallory came in a couple of hours ago and picked up a to-go order," the male acting as cashier answered. "I figured you guys were all eating dinner-"

"No, I've been out," Grin answered, Raza standing beside him. "So I haven't eaten yet."

"Well, we've got some new stuff on the menu," the cashier said. "And you guys get anything you want, free of charge as you already know, so…go ahead and pick!"

"For free?" Raza asked, looking up at the much larger drake. "Why is that?"

"We're their major food sponsor," the cashier answered, Raza directing his attention back at him. "We hadn't been open long when these guys showed up, wanting to play hockey. So the guys in higher-ups decided to sponsor the Ducks during the season, selling 'Duck Dogs' at all the home games. Ever since then, business has been great!"

"So we get free food whenever we need it," Grin finished.

"Our way of thanking the team, especially after winning the Stanley Cup," the cashier said, smiling. "So what can I get you guys?"

After ordering their food, the two went to a booth nearby to talk while they waited.

"So on our walk here, you've explained to me that you are all from a place called Puckworld, where a race called the Saurians have invaded and you were part of the Resistance team when there," Raza half-asked, half-said. "Upon arriving here, you took up playing hockey again while you and your teammates hunt this…Dragaunus?"

Grin merely nodded. "Strange to believe?" he asked.

"Who am I to question the vast expanses of the universe, when they hold so much possibility?" asked Raza. Then he shrugged. "Besides, it would explain a lot of things that happen on the news.

"So now, tell me Grin, what is it that is troubling you? You said a teammate was injured. What happened?"

Grin sighed. "Our youngest teammate and my friend nearly died the other night in a fight with Dragaunus' minions," he answered. "His name is Nosedive. He was protecting our leader, who also happens to be his older brother." He paused. "The rest of us are still not sure how he saw Wildwing. Only that our little friend took a very horrendous blow for him."

"A noble thing to do, sacrificing one's self for the good of another," Raza said.

A waiter brought the duo's food to them, each of them thanking the waiter before he left.

Raza began to eat as Grin picked at his food. "This…this is the first time in a very long time where I feel as if there is nothing that I can do," Grin said. "The only instance I can remember feeling so…"

"Helpless?"

"Yes," Grin said sadly. "The only point in time I can remember that feeling was from the life I had before I met my former master. Since meeting my young friend, I never really thought he would…"

Raza sighed, placing his sandwich on the table. "Unfortunately, this is a part of life," he said to Grin. "Tragedies in which we cannot explain happen. The only thing we can do is try to learn from the bad happenings of our lives."

_Didn't I say something like that to Wildwing earlier today? _Grin pondered, taking a sip of his soda. He remembered being up with their leader at eight-thirty that morning to take him coffee and just to talk, perhaps make him feel better. But it hadn't helped Wing too much, since he had looked confused when Grin had left the Infirmary that morning.

"Something else troubling you?" Raza asked, noticing the far-off look in the larger drake's eyes.

Grin merely sighed. "Something that happened tonight - unbalanced - me, and I was not expecting it."

"Like what?"

"Tanya, who acts as our team medic, had to make Nosedive's heart go back into a normal rhythm," Grin tried to explain. "I felt something was not right when I had tried to occupy myself earlier this afternoon…and when I tried to feel the presence of each our team members earlier tonight, my little friend's aura was white."

Raza looked at him grimly. "While a white aura can indicate purity, it also warns others that angels can be nearby or that a higher plane is trying to take over," he said, sitting back. "You were afraid for this reason, yes?"

Grin nodded. "Usually, his aura is an orange color-"

"-indicating vitality, vigor, good health and excitement," Raza said, beginning to understand why someone would like this Nosedive. "Lots of energy and stamina, creative, productive, adventurous, courageous, outgoing social nature. His aura changed quickly, so you were afraid."

"…yes," Grin answered. "When I went to see what was wrong, I found my other teammates, Duke and Mallory, trying to get Wildwing to talk to them. They had reached him first, and tried to ask what was wrong, but he wouldn't answer. It wasn't until the three of us sat with him that we found out about our young friend…

"Wildwing was so shaken from what he had seen. But then again, it is not often that we see another's heart stop or begin to go crazy. And he had exhausted himself, to the point of falling asleep while waiting for Tanya to tell us what had happened. And because none of us wanted to wake our leader, Tanya made up a bed next to his brother and let him stay there."

When Grin didn't continue, Raza asked, "Is this what brought you to the park today friend?"

"…yes."

"And now you have many worries that you carry, as if a giant boulder has been chained to you."

Grin sighed. "That would be one way to say it," he finally said. "I could not stay in the Infirmary and watch. It was too…hard…to stay. I tried to go elsewhere to meditate, but I could not make myself do so."Raza ate his last French fry, then began his answer.

"It may not always be best to reflect upon a matter such as this when the times are…compromising. It is often said 'the greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.' However, I do not believe this philosophy to be necessarily true."

"Then what do you believe is best to do?" asked Grin, taking another sip of soda.

"Well, one thing to keep in mind is this," Raza said. " 'Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.' "

For once, _Grin _was confused about a particular saying. "Might I ask the meaning of this?" he asked.

"It means that one person could touch a thousand lives, and the life of that one person will not be ended when they actually die," Raza explained. "Simply remembering the one candle helps the others to continue burning. But I digress. You were asking what the best thing to do would be." He thought for a moment. " 'View all problems as challenges. Look upon negativities that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow. Don't run from them, condemn yourself, or bury your burden in saintly silence. You have a problem? Great. More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in, and investigate.' "

Grin just stared at him, confused. "A quote from _Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, _a Sri Lanken Buddhist monk," Raza answered.

The larger one just nodded.

Raza thought for a moment, studying Grin. "Still troubled friend?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed a napkin out of the dispenser on the table and pulled a pen from one of his pockets, writing down something. After a moment, he put the pen back and handed the written-on napkin to Grin. "Perhaps you need some guidance from someone wiser than myself," he said. "If you still feel uneasy, or just want to visit and talk some more, come to this address tomorrow."

Grin looked at the name of the place that Raza had written down. "The Buddhist Lotus Temple?" he asked inquisitively.

Raza slid out of the booth and stood up, gathering his trash. "Yes. I live there with other monks who are trying to help those in the world," he answered. "You don't have to come, but if you still feel the need to talk, you are welcome to come anytime and speak with either myself or a wiser one than myself."

He then left the fast food eatery, leaving Grin to ponder…

_**RVRVRVRVRVRVRV**_

Grin came into the Rec Room, still pondering about the evening.

After he had left Weiner World, Grin had wandered around the city for another hour before returning back to the Pond. It was getting late; actually, it was close to eleven. So Grin thought it would be best to sleep on the idea of going to the temple tomorrow.

"Where've ya been Grin?"

The larger drake looked to the couches to see Duke there, looking up from his copy of _The Count of Monte Cristo._ "On a quest that ended unexpectedly," Grin answered, taking a seat on the couch next to Duke.

"That so?" the ex-bandit asked. He closed his book and put it on the coffee table in front of the sofa. "What happened?"

"I tried to meditate once again, but I couldn't-"

"Wow, you must seriously be worried or somethin'."

Grin snorted. "That would be one way of saying it," he said. "I met someone on my way back to the Pond the first time. We talked and he invited me to visit a temple if I felt I needed to."

"Did'ja go?" Duke asked.

"He recommended that I visit tomorrow," Grin answered. "It seems that there are humans on this planet that see the way I do, even when I am not on the path."

The ex-thief studied him for a minute. "So…are ya gonna go tomorrow?" he asked.

"If you do not get it from yourself, where will you go for it?" Grin answered.

"Uh…I'll take that as a yes."

"Whatever." With that, Grin stood from his seat and left for his room.


	2. The Temple Meeting

Alright, 2nd chapter here. I'm kinda sad thus far because no one has given me any kind of critique about how I'm writing Grin's perspective. This is probably one of the only stories where Grin's featured, and it seems no one likes it =/

P.S. I'm STILL doing research on Buddhism/Zen and it seems like I shall be doing so until the story is done. If there's any experts on the subject and you'd like to help, I'd really appreciate it =3

P.S.S. The way the temple is designed in this chapter is just from what I've seen in pictures. I've - uh - never actually been to a Buddhist temple.

Disclaimer: I don't own MD:TAS. If I did, I'd be rich.

* * *

It seemed that the temple in question had ended up not being far away from the Pond.

After a night of restless sleep, Grin continued to ponder of whether or not to venture to the monastery in which he had been invited to. The good thing was that he had updates for his new friend Raza; Nosedive had woken up sometime during the early hours of the morning and had been reading comics when Grin last saw the teen in the Infirmary. The other great thing was that, apparently, Wildwing had woken up and had talked to the youngest of the team when Grin and Duke (mostly Duke though,) sent Mallory down to check up on Tanya. Apparently, Tanya had stepped out for a moment and when she had come back to the Infirmary doors, she could hear the two talking.

It had been an improvement over the previous night anyway.

So he had decided to go. Even though these improvements had happened since the previous night, the larger drake thought that it would be something to tell his new human friend…and perhaps could talk to him about anything else that was still bothering him.

Grin stood in front of a decent sized, well-kept monastery, looking up at a sign in the front that said, "The Buddhist Lotus Temple". He looked at it for few more moments before going inside.

What he saw before him was unlike anything the larger drake had seen before.

It was spacious, with a rather large idol of (Grin couldn't really guess) some sort of divinity in the back. At the base of the statue sat about two dozen candles, burning brightly in their holders. And behind the statue was beautiful Oriental art that covered almost the entire back wall. Other than that, there were two rows (one on each side) of these things that looked like pews or long small tables in which to sit at.

Grin looked at the place in admiration, making him think of the days when he was being taught by his former master back on Puckworld. This place was actually very similar to his master's former home, minus a few things. The Zen-oriented duck began to walk in, just looking all around him, taking everything in.

"Looking for something in particular, or just enjoying the view?"

Grin looked to his left to see an older gentlemen, perhaps in his 50's or so, dark skinned (though not like Raza, more like a permanent tan), bald head, a dot on his forehead, wearing simple clothing. "We welcome anyone of other faiths here, for guidance, advice, or anything a person has in mind," the man said. "Helping others on the path they need is part of what we do here."

Grin smiled a little. Raza had been right, perhaps he could be guided by the monks who lived here. "Actually, I met someone who suggested I come here," he told the holy man. "He goes by the name Raza; he suggested that I come by today if I needed to talk to someone."

"Oh yes, Raza is one of the monks here," the other said. "However, I think right now he's finishing a meditation session if you would like to wait and speak with him."

"May I just look around here?" Grin asked, curious about the other decoration of the hall. "I have never visited a monastery on Earth before."

The man smiled. "Of course," he answered. "Feel free to look. I only ask that you do not touch anything, for many of the things here are very old."

Grin nodded and the man left him to look around the place. Against the side walls were paintings of different gods, goddesses, or people. He went over to one portrait and read the placard.

_**Anagarika Dharmapala**_**, **_**Sri Lankan Buddhist leader. Revived Buddhism in India in 1891 by founding the Maha Bodhi Society. **_

_Interesting,_ Grin thought. _I wonder what happened to make this religion need a revival though._

The larger drake went onto the next picture, which was actually a painting of the goddess Hārītī. With much curiosity of the picture, he examined it thoroughly, then read the placard.

_**Hārītī**_, _**goddess for the protection of children, easy delivery, happy child rearing and parenting, harmony between husband and wife, love, and the well-being and safety of the family.**_

Grin sighed sadly after reading just that. _Safety and well-being of a family? Would that include two stranded brothers who constantly have to fight against evil?_

"Found something interesting friend?"

Grin turned around and smiled when he recognized Raza's voice. "Some things on this planet hold new knowledge to me," he answered. "I never knew there were so many gods and goddesses to look upon."

"Well, that's debatable, depending on what religion you actually believe in," Raza said, adjusting his glasses. "In Buddhism, we have many gods and goddesses, as well as demons." He paused for a moment and studied Grin. "Your energy is different today. Did something happen since our last meeting?"

"Actually, yes something has," Grin answered, smiling.

"Then come, we'll go somewhere peaceful and talk," Raza said, beginning to lead Grin elsewhere on the grounds…

_**RVRVRVRVRVRVRV**_

Grin and Raza were now sitting under a large willow tree that was in the beautiful, large enclosed piece of land that was behind the temple. Most of the time, the monks of the temple would spend their time meditating or getting in touch with nature. Occasionally however, monks would speak with others who would visit the temple for the serene setting.

"So my friend, what has you in a better mood today?" Raza asked Grin.

The larger drake smiled. "Early this morning, my little friend woke up."

"This _is _good news," Raza said, looking delighted. "What else?"

"Wildwing woke up sometime around noon today," Grin said. "He and his brother talked, according to Tanya, and came to a crossroads. They eventually agreed, or at least compromised."

"Even better when family can reconcile," Raza said. He examined Grin for a moment. "Though your aura is brighter, it still seems…different. Is there something still troubling you?"

The larger duck thought of the painting he had seen in the main entrance. His thoughts had been on it since he had read the placard, so why not ask about it? Besides, it would be a good opportunity to learn something else new on this planet.

"Might I inquire about the portrait of a certain deity?"

"Which one?"

"The painting of Hārītī, the one that is supposed to protect families," Grin said. "Does her protection cover all kinds of family?"

"You're speaking of the two brothers on your team, yes?" Raza asked.

Grin nodded.

"Well…" Raza was quiet for a moment, thinking of a way to put his answer. "You see, it depends on what your actual faith _is_."

The drake looked at him, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Do you have many religions on your home world?"

"Not many," Grin said. "My master had a sort of…path, that this temple does. Actually, it makes me remember him, in speech and the way his home was." Grin shook his head. "Of the few religions that did exist, they believed in whatever aspect they chose of Drake DuCaine, a hero on our world. Very few believe much else."

"Well, you see, it's very different here," Raza began. "I myself was raised Roman Catholic, but converted to Buddhism when I was about twenty-two. On this planet, a few of the main religions are Buddhism, many different denominations of Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism, each believing in their own God, or in the case of Buddhism and Hinduism, gods and goddesses.

"In the case you ask of, the goddess Hārītī, can apply to anyone, whether or not they believe in her. But another thing to keep in mind is that she used to be a cannibalistic demon; she had hundreds of children whom she loved and doted upon, but to feed them, she abducted and killed the children of others. Eventually, Śakyamuni Buddha stole her youngest and hid him from her. When he saw how distressed she became while searching for him, Śakyamuni pointed out that she had felt the same misery as other parents she was causing unto them by stealing and eating children. From then on, she decided to protect all children. Is this what you wanted to know?"

Grin scratched his head. "I suppose so," he answered. "But if she is meant to protect families and children, why do you believe she would allow someone as young as my little friend to be on the verge of death for an amount of time?"

"Because, sadly friend, there's just too many children and she can't always protect them," Raza answered, crossing his arms. "It's like having a busy schedule; a person sometimes has one so full they can't cram anything else into it. Or perhaps it was meant to be that lovers who want children simply aren't cut out and Hārītī knows that. Or maybe even another god or goddess sees it and does something about it."

"So if you believe in something, it can't always help you."

"Well, I didn't say that," Raza pointed out. "Just because something bad happens doesn't mean that it doesn't help in the long run. It helps keep our perspectives where they should be and should help keep our faith in whatever we believe in."

Grin thought for a moment about this, remember something he had once said months ago to Wildwing.

_*"As once said long ago, 'Don't wish for perfect health. In perfect health, there is greed and wanting.' "_

_"Being a bit cryptic there, ain't ya?" asked Duke, sitting back with his arms behind his head. Grin shrugged._

_"Is there anymore to that particular quote?" asked Wildwing._

_The Zen-oriented duck nodded. " "So an ancient said, 'Make good medicine from the suffering of sickness.' "_

_It was Mallory's turn to sigh. "I guess that's another way to say that someone has to learn from the bad stuff that happens to them," she commented…*_

"Make good medicine from the suffering of sickness…"

"Yes friend, that is how many would see it."

Grin looked up, not realizing that he had said that part out loud.

Raza just chuckled at the look on Grin's face. "Might I ask something somewhat…personal?" the monk asked.

"What is it?"

"What exactly is your relationship to this Nosedive?" Raza asked. "Other than being a teammate on the ice and when in battle, what is he to you?"

"Well…" Grin thought for a moment, wondering how to answer. "In the beginning, back on Puckworld, I did not think very much of him when he first joined the Resistance, but I refused to judge him until I knew more about him. I was not going to let our former leader's ideas influence my own."

"Smart move."

"Over our time on Earth, it's like…we've bonded in a way that I didn't realize happened until some time later," Grin continued. "If I had to compare what our relationship was to something, it would have to be like he was a younger brother to me. I never had siblings of my own, but I've watched Wildwing and Nosedive's interaction and realized that I felt that same connection."

"And how is that?" Raza asked, uncrossing his arms.

"One of the more odd things we talk about is whether or not Bernie the Bear is in fact a bear," Grin started. "Nosedive likes to believe that he is, but I don't think he is."

"But it says so in his name that he is indeed a bear," Raza said, smiling.

_A human agrees with Nosedive, _Grin thought, wanting to do what Nosedive called a 'head-desk'. _I'll have to remember not to tell him what Raza just said. _

"As for battles, we once had to fake being in a mob to clear our other teammates' names."

Raza looked surprised. "Is that so? How did you manage that?"


End file.
